January 12
A large box of the finest chocolate truffles, giftwrapped, topped with a red bow: $35.95
Cinnamon hearts, just in case Tamara doesn’t like chocolate: $5.00
Cinnamon hearts? Hmm. Maybe she won’t be keen on them either. What’s something nobody can resist? Ah. Assorted jelly beans—a flavor for every palate: $7.75
Bouquet of long-stemmed red roses: $74.99
Posh hotel suite reservation. Not sure which hotel to book. I’ll have to check the prices and see how much money is left on my credit card after I get the rest of the stuff I need. $???? $285.00
Missing You greeting card with velvet-flocked hearts. A disgustingly sappy lovey-dovey note forged with Jeremy’s signature and the room number. And lots of X’s and O’s on the bottom. Can’t go cheap on this, or Tamara might get suspicious: $9.95
Oh! Can’t forget a card for Jeremy, ditto, ditto, etc., etc., forged with Tamara’s signature. I can copy her handwriting from our school annual: $9.95
Sledgehammer to smash the memory card in the spy cam I hid last week. The spy cam that caught him cheating with her. Tamara. Ha! Tramp-mara. Trash-mara. Tart-mara: $54.99
Gun to kill them both, untraceable: $500.00?
Ammunition. Never done this before. Don’t know how much it’ll cost: $????
On second thought, no need for a gun. I’ll use the sledgehammer in the garage. One sledgehammer to crush her perfect porcelain complexion, to demolish Jeremy’s smug smile: $N/C
Heavy-duty tarp to wrap the body: $16.99
Guess I’ll need two tarps: $33.98
Rental car to dump the corpses and take my luggage to the airport: $49.99
Trip to Tahiti after I’m done: $5450.00
Satisfaction: Priceless
December 12
Unexpected expense: $50,000.00 (for the guy who’s going to break me out of this jail cell).
Satisfaction: $56,012.55
—
Kathy Steinemann has loved writing for as long as she can remember. As a child, she scribbled poems and stories. During the progression of her love affair with words, she won multiple public-speaking and writing awards. Her career has taken varying directions, including positions as editor of a small-town paper, computer-network administrator, and webmaster. She’s a self-published author who tries to write something every day. You can read more of Kathy’s work at KathySteinemann.com.