The cross-examining lawyer approached the witness to begin, “Alanis Morissette, as an expert on the subject could you explain to the court what irony is?”
Enthusiastically she answered, “It’s like a spanner, when all you need is a baseball. Or it‘s like rain when you’re pregnant with twins.”
“Of course,” said the lawyer encouragingly, “so you wouldn’t say it’s like 10,000 bad examples of irony when all you really want is a simile for life not conforming to expectations?”
“No. It’s more like a cat with three heads.” She stated, and gave a wide, innocent smile.
The lawyer looked at Alanis, unsure what to make of her last example.
Still frowning to himself, he looked at the judge to state, “No further questions, your honour.”
Then turning to the court he continued, “And so the jury will plainly see that it wasn’t ironic when The (residual) Beatles recorded ‘Free as a Bird’, in the process imprisoning a personal demo of John Lennon’s beneath their overdubs to cash in on The Beatles’ brand.”
Soren James is a writer and visual artist who recreates himself on a daily basis from the materials at his disposal, continuing to do so in upbeat manner until one day he will sumptuously throw his drained materials aside and resume stillness without asking why. More of his work can be seen here: www.sorenjames.moonfruit.com.